Jealousy is mental cancer

Jealousy. I have touched on this topic before but feel an unsettling urge to dwell on it a little deeper. Recently, I have been jealous of someone at school, for reasons we can talk about later, but the point is: it turned me into a green-eyed monster!

I despise this feeling. Every bit of it. But I can’t help but envy her. As I analyze this emotion, there is one thing that becomes clear…

We live in the age of envy. Human beings have always felt what Aristotle defined in the fourth century BC as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune, stirred by “those who have what we ought to have”. It is true, I feel innately uncomfortable about this girl’s great accomplishments even though I don’t want to feel this way one bit.

However, I recently came across the Growth Mindset. When we have a growth mindset, we look at the success of others and ask: what would it take for me to attain something similar? How am I going to be able to achieve this too? What would I have to do or learn? We are enabled to think about what we truly want. As a result, we can actually end up using jealousy as a resource, and can always make a plan to get there. This person’s accomplishments have reminded me of the fact that every person is on their own path of growth and success, and made me look a little deeper into constructing my own aims and goals. I may not be a person who gets things right the first time. But over time, I know I try hard to get there.

While I don’t think there is an instant cure for jealousy, I do think we can accept that this disruptive emotion is normal. When we accept, jealousy can uncover areas of our lives that need attention and improvement. Lastly, we may not have everything we want in life. Most of us don’t. But we probably have at least some of what we want, and that should never be disparaged. It is our differences that make us unique after all!

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

111 thoughts on “Jealousy is mental cancer


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      Liked by 1 person

  1. When I was young, I was very jealous and about 20 years ago I noticed that I wasn’t; so the natural inclination was to attach an age thing or maturity to this.
    My theories on this are ever evolving which is a clear indication ‘I don’t know.’
    However, I believe jealousy although human and natural can be overcome.
    I have noticed that people who have trouble sharing seem to have more of a tendency for jealousy, which also could be immaturity.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. as you know, you are old enough to be aware of knee jerk, superficial reactions to things that may appear to be one way. but often if we dig deeper, we find we are often in error. a fine post. relax and learn. you re just getting started after all!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Nice post! I think being aware of your own emotions can be quite powerful, and being able to take action is a great contribution to growing our mindset. I recently wrote a post about growing a new mindset, and this is a great example of how to.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Very nice post. I too have become a green eyed monster especially way back in the day. They say that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I used to envious quite often until I began to realize why the grass was greener.

    More fertilizer, usually coming from bulls.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Great post! I have often felt something akin to jealousy about my big sister. She did not get bipolar the way I did. She is very together, thoughtful and supportive in general as a sister and in particular regarding my bipolar illness. For several years she took me into her home during what I call mini-breaks. Rather than being jealous of her, I am encouraged to let her be a role model for me instead.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. It’s a good thought to use others success as a source of inspiration. It is an ongoing struggle to be honest with yourself. The ego can easily complicate things. I try to accept what I see and focus on the direction I want to go in. Good post!

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Great post. I admire how thoughtful and introspective you are, watching your reactions. That growth principle is a great concept to shift your focus. It’s wonderful you are learning so many great tools at a young age.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I do agree with the Sharma quote. In regard to jealousy, I believe that in one way or another, all the negative emotions have their root in fear. When I’m feeling envious of something, I ask myself what the root fear is, am I insecure, do I think I’m not good-smart-pretty-talented-whatever enough? This questioning always helps.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. i am in my life
    not become a master
    jealous,
    I confess,
    I already was

    The spirit and
    the soul is in us
    that me because of that
    a mental cancer
    must accommodate
    that was me in my
    imperfection
    in my world of experience
    never an event

    The monster is in all of us
    I don’t despise my dark side

    feeling and mind
    have to learn
    to get along
    with the attempt
    what went wrong
    in word and deed
    to do better

    There are so many
    great people
    i am the story of life
    not significant

    The greatest thing is
    the simple life
    to really live
    to be content with that

    Our goal is death

    our lifetime
    is too short
    we must try
    everyday
    our work
    to do with humility

    Not what we want
    not what we are talking about
    but doing
    and not doing
    for new insight
    do not miss

    Liked by 4 people

      1. একটি স্বপ্নের জার্নাল লিখুন
        তোমার জন্য সেরাটাই হোক

        Like

      2. হ্যালো এমডি মহিনুল ইসলাম
        আমি ইউরোপের একজন বৃদ্ধ মানুষ
        আপনার স্বপ্ন ব্যাখ্যা করার চেষ্টা করুন
        দিনের একটি ভাল অন্তর্দৃষ্টি জন্য

        Like

      3. আত্না
        পরামর্শের মাধ্যমে আপনাকে জানাবে
        আপনার জীবনের জন্য দান করুন
        আমি একজন সহজ সরল মানুষ
        আমি কাউকে শিক্ষা দিতে পারি না

        Like

  10. Recognizing jealousy is such a good first step. Confessing it to God and then finding things to be grateful for in our own lives is a huge help. I don’t say these things lightly. I struggle with jealousy too. But God does not make mistakes. The way He made is, with our personalities, gifts, inclinations, and even what we see as limitations are a good gift from Him. I’m glad you ate able to turn things around and to let your feelings motivate you to be the best that you can be rather than growing bitter and letting jealousy fester.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. I’ve always thought there was a thin line between envy and jealousy. To me, jealousy means, “I want exactly what you have”.. that car, that figure, that boyfriend, etc. However, to me envy means a more passive emotion… I wish that I could write as well as he does, I wish my hair was as curly as hers (or as straight), I wish I had that gourmet kitchen I saw in a magazine. Wishing for something is a natural habit, while jealousy is a more aggressive passive anger that someone else has what you believe you deserve. Anyhow, that’s why I’m okay with envying people.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. It’s appalling because our media encourages the marketplace mentality, and the resulting jealousy is the designed and hoped for reaction. We buy and attempt to manipulate ourselves into being other than we are in these moments. How sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The other side of this coin, is I’m nearly 100% that others are jealous of you! You have such brilliance and empathy, that you are a star in human clothing. From there, well, nothing else really matters does it? 🙏🏼💛

    Like

  14. Wonderful write up Saania. Very well written.
    Jealousy and envy are human emotions which are hard to overcome. Those who overcome the initial feeling of envy and take inspiration from it tend to succeed. Keep writing 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I don’t know if I have ever been jealous of anyone – certainly not of who they were or their accomplishments. I might have coveted material things they had has a result of their good fortunes. Living on behalf of those you love enables seeing all that you have. IMHO: It is better to be sadly content with what you have, when you share that with wonderful people, than to have it all and be lonely.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. imho i think it’s very good that you recognize the jealousy. It can be a very tricky and hidden emotion i’ve learned from my teacher. Recognizing jealousy means you have a choice not to follow it.

    What i’ve learned throughout the years is that a great antidote for jealousy is to be happy for the success of others. Instead of focusing only on MY happiness, i can choose to appreciate that other people are succesful in their endeavours in life. In the end we all want to be happy, no one wants to suffer. Why not feel sympathetic joy if someone is happy or succesful? It’s much more fun 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. 💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎

    💎 I AM pretty much free of envy and “jealousy” now EveryOne; because I realised I was chasing other peoples dreams…it was an ‘Aha, Lightbulb Moment’ when I Realised the Reason for Me Being envious and “jealous” was because I Desperately sought Parental APPROVAL!!! from Others; then I THOUGHT!!! Fuck It, I AM Doing My Own THING!!! however Selfish, Wierd and Spaced Out it may seem, NEVER!!! looked back in regret since

    http://www.ericberne.com

    💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎

    …💎💎💎…

    Like

  18. Why wasted your time and energy on such a negative endeavor? Rather direct it toward finding a niche for yourself. We all have a place in this world; a worthwhile one at that. I spent two years in the aerospace industry before I realized it wasn’t for me. I ended up enjoying a fruitful career as a teacher and coach. I reached for the stars, yet found fulfillment in the hearts of my students and players.
    Saint Mother Teresa tells us: “Grow where you are planted.” All that you want to be is what you were meant to be. Don’t look without for your answer to happiness. look within.
    -Alan

    Liked by 1 person

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