5 habits of people who love themselves

When relationships go wrong, social comparisons kick in, failures hit harder than Monday mornings, or burnouts become real, self-love saves the day. From my own experiences, here are 5 habits of people who love themselves. Unconditionally…

1. Over-explaining? Let’s drop that baggage. We’ve all been there. Sending that novel-length text to someone which actually wasn’t needed at all! As women especially, we feel we need to justify ourselves and our decisions all the time. We are scared of hurting others. To be misunderstood. The root of this comes from people-pleasing. Well, when we do this, our self-worth depends on others and very soon we feel powerless. But do I need a thesis statement to prove I am worth it? Nope, thank you, next!

2. Finding time to “live in the moment”. The monkey mind is a Buddhist concept that describes a state of restlessness. But people who love themselves know how to control their thoughts by being in the present. Adrenaline junkies achieve this by doing crazy dangerous stunts! But we can achieve it long-term by meditation, yoga, mindfulness and hobbies. Ah, the beauty of hobbies! When I twirl into a pirouette, nail the happy foot in hip hop, or blog away for hours, I don’t think for a second about my worries, or even who I am pleasing. I simply connect with myself. And that is a rare feeling. Did you know a Harvard Health study found amongst 93,000 people across 16 countries, more than 60% claimed better health and well-being due to having hobbies? So if you don’t have one, try channeling your inner Picasso, break a sweat at sport, or whip a cupcake. Options are endless, you’ll find yours!

3. Just like we forgive others, learning to forgive ourselves. We all screw up. Goof up. Regret things. While it’s certainly important to plan, be aware, or assess situations, we inevitably look back sometimes and go, “how could I have been so stupid?”, “Man, I should have known better!”. But no, you were not stupid and you couldn’t have known better. Some moments simply call for reflection. Sure you didn’t know better then, but hey, now you do.

4. Learning to love our own company. Building social networks helped our ancestors meet daily challenges. In fact, a study by Science suggests human behaviors like creation of extended social networks were established at least 320,000 years ago. But today we get so used to being around people that we forget how to be happy alone! This isn’t good. Mahatma Gandhi even said, “It’s easy to stand in the crowd but it takes courage to stand alone.” Perhaps that is why we get trapped in toxic relationships and friendships? We hold onto whoever is “convenient” but later realize they were more harm than good. So I’m here to convince you with my unpopular opinion: being by yourself is sometimes the best thing ever! Try it- go for a movie alone, sip a coffee in a cute café, meditate alone, shop till you drop. It gets fun. Trust.

5. Being aware of our morals. Our morals guide us with what is right and wrong and are unique to each of us. Take a moment to ask yourself, “What do I stand for? what do I not stand for?”. Years ago I would look at myself in the mirror and HATE what I saw. That nasty tummy, the double chin, the uneven legs, the droopy untoned arms. I started to eat healthy and hit the gym because I loved myself enough to change and that was my moral. Now when my own friends and family criticize me saying I’m “too thin”, I remind myself that I am not perfect. But I am healthier than I was yesterday. And that’s all that matters so long as I never give up. Or the fact that I follow a largely vegan lifestyle due to my love for animals. People attack me with their opinions all the time! But I immediately remove myself from those situations. I will not care about how that makes them feel. I won’t stay just to make them satisfied and happy. I will walk away if they continue to pressure me. This is the act of self-love! Our morals are non-negotiable. If you believe it, own it.

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚‍♀️