I translate ego to literally be “the self”. And I can say I have definitely been a victim of my ego in the past. For me, my ego was what made a lot of my time in high school bitter. As I now look back, it created an unhealthy belief in my own importance. It was that pettish child inside me that always wanted to get my way over anything or anyone else. The person inside me that absolutely needed to be better than, greater than, more than, anybody else in the room. Here’s why I think that was a bad thing…
When we have ego, we take every feedback, even feedback coming from people’s best interests, as an “attack”. As a result, we are never able to collect necessary feedback to grow. And what happens then? Can we really work with people if we put up walls? Can we really move ahead if we’re always uninterested in hearing from external sources? In a way, ego causes us to exaggerate our strengths while underestimating the amount of effort and skill required to achieve our goals. That’s almost losing touch with reality, no?
Ego also makes us assume that we “deserve” some outcome – always. For instance, I bought a gift for my friend and hence she should always be loyal to me. Sadly, we don’t always get what we deserve. It can be frustrating, but ego often creates entitlement and ridiculous expectations that the world won’t always fulfill for us.
The last, yet most important thing. Ego made me depend on external validation – a little too often and a little too much. It’s ironic how our sense of self, AKA ego, resents to hear and take in criticism from others, yet when it comes to external validation, it craves it in order to feel satisfied. An example would be: If I achieve a good score, I need to be recognized and praised for it.
All in all, I feel like ego definitely helps us build our confidence. However, it can also reach a point of completely destroying us. Having said that, imagine how much more open to new ideas and how much more fulfilling and wholesome our relationships with others can be if we learn to balance and manage our ego?
– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻♀️