Is Ego our Enemy?

I translate ego to literally be “the self”. And I can say I have definitely been a victim of my ego in the past. For me, my ego was what made a lot of my time in high school bitter. As I now look back, it created an unhealthy belief in my own importance. It was that pettish child inside me that always wanted to get my way over anything or anyone else. The person inside me that absolutely needed to be better than, greater than, more than, anybody else in the room. Here’s why I think that was a bad thing…

When we have ego, we take every feedback, even feedback coming from people’s best interests, as an “attack”. As a result, we are never able to collect necessary feedback to grow. And what happens then? Can we really work with people if we put up walls? Can we really move ahead if we’re always uninterested in hearing from external sources? In a way, ego causes us to exaggerate our strengths while underestimating the amount of effort and skill required to achieve our goals. That’s almost losing touch with reality, no?

Ego also makes us assume that we “deserve” some outcome – always. For instance, I bought a gift for my friend and hence she should always be loyal to me. Sadly, we don’t always get what we deserve. It can be frustrating, but ego often creates entitlement and ridiculous expectations that the world won’t always fulfill for us.

The last, yet most important thing. Ego made me depend on external validation – a little too often and a little too much. It’s ironic how our sense of self, AKA ego, resents to hear and take in criticism from others, yet when it comes to external validation, it craves it in order to feel satisfied. An example would be: If I achieve a good score, I need to be recognized and praised for it.

All in all, I feel like ego definitely helps us build our confidence. However, it can also reach a point of completely destroying us. Having said that, imagine how much more open to new ideas and how much more fulfilling and wholesome our relationships with others can be if we learn to balance and manage our ego?

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

96 thoughts on “Is Ego our Enemy?

  1. Knowing someone with a huge ego has alienated this person from all family. Everyone has been where you were but you learned from it as we all should. I find it sad that this person has not and that after 80 some years doesn’t understand why nobody wants anything to do with them.

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  2. How are doing Saania? Are you keeping well? Here’s wishing you and your family all a lovely week ahead 🙂 Stay safe and keep smiling.

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  3. Bonjour SANIA mes amis Amies

    N’attendez pas d’être heureux pour sourire, souriez plutôt afin d’être heureux
    Vivez chaque jour comme s’il était le dernier (même le lundi)
    Il y a quelque chose de beau dans chaque journée, à vous de le trouver
    Voilà 3 bonnes pensées pour commencer la semaine du bon pied
    J’espère que cela va t’aider
    Courage
    Ainsi qu’une belle semaine à venir mème si le temps le beau n’est pas là
    Bisou Amitié
    Bernard

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  4. Very thoughtful and interesting post. It looks like you learned an important life lesson at a young age that some people never learn. Everyone is born self-centered, but those who remain self-centered for their entire lives miss out on the genuine interactions they could have had with a bit of empathy for others.

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  5. Ego, egoism, egotism… rigid ego, flexible ego, healthy ego… And what about soul? Persona?
    Carl Jung’s model of the (total) self as he saw it helped me for a while but i think it’s flawed and incomplete. Freud IMO is worse!

    Have fun in America. 🙂

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    1. “>June 6th >-Acts of Bigotry – ninety-seven v dormitory Hate… =–=[ Gander Mot ] mean, shamed, betrayed,
      “>volatile<
      our crime a series of flings casual with no consequences<
      cried myself to sleep, trashed out skin.>(elusion,) !1- ragged wet face ‘ I ‘
      “> Two
      she says ”lecturing for these close clothes worn” – Warn grammatically….
      ‘ I ‘
      >she’s only seven”
      >
      Five
      Verse writinganxiety, sadness, I am happy and grateful to be her friend, but I want her to be able …. (Hear me out. I promise this is going somewhere.)&

      “>Whom do you picture me as?


      Three


      candors, Judge?
      Rabbi??->
      Sheindlin, Shindler??
      Shalom, everything I wanted What is…
      epilogue {slept in confusion} Prejudice??? Anti???
      –>
      >Four

      >Yenta.! …. ellipses …
      >the oddest things: <hate skin too black, {battle scars & daggers}
      <'' Hit's '' ugly &; dirty with sums of mash up; her skin taught upon like saltwater brine: Given:
      ” Five-hour fathers – treated like trash- (In tyme must be those worn-out suds of tears.) emotionally battered by&
      ->
      >Six
      {Courting War’ I ‘
      self-pity trip to the stars –
      eight months ‘I’? Hidden letters for reason
      -What’s the Jewish word for craziness, Shenandoah, meshugaas (mi-shoo-GAHS).???
      >&;afraid of ambiguity and, by extension, death Stand back- she needs sympathy {I can’t wait} … easy on me;” Singing on high Sopranino ”<
      no one called upon ”Killer Qu33n ” bashing
      {Gravedigger} >Does soap still get made from ashes, like the gas chamber? >Is the fake ”Hitler” of 2022, in jail &; tried of reasons Prosecution? make it rain, Fiddler on the roof -<
      <easy on me;” Singing on high Sopranino ” baking challah, bread for Janka Noemi, was my road I’ once met; now Shes turning tables<
      no one called upon ''Killer Qu33n '' bashing
      '' sickness until death ''.

      seven &; eight Slam
      >Gender types in fe,ale clothing <
      deflect the attacks->
      {W3} throttle our – salamanders – fritters, Tom!
      portray for denied hunger>the battle of waterloo>I kissed the teacher<
      apologize just “get over” something: '' tried increasing my pain tolerance. <
      <sneaking play for coworkers' baby

      Like

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