Hope and Disappointment

Hope is great, but it comes with a downside—disappointment. When we’re hit with this feeling after being hopeful, it hurts. There is really no way around it. The more time we spend fantasizing about how amazing it would be to win, the greater our disappointment is likely to be when we lose.

However, disappointment is a part of life. In relationships, schools, things, and in ourselves. Ever since I was little, I have expected my relationships with friends to go a certain way. However, they didn’t always steer in that direction. At one point, I was tired of being let down by the people I care about. Sometimes, it can even be hard to tell if we should give our friend another chance or try to move on – is it even them or is it us? Over time though, I’ve realised how in real life, it is rare to find one person who will fit all the “boxes” we expect the people around us to fill, and for this it is important to know what to expect from people. For example, if we know we have a fake friend, we may choose not to rely on them for plans to hang out. Instead, we could decide to see them spontaneously or with a group of people, so the consequences of them not showing up aren’t severe (and heartbreaking!).

Similarly with things, we must remind ourselves that if we buy into the myths of perfection, we will end up hurting ourselves and the people in our lives. Myths that we pick up from movies, songs, and simply what the world or Instagram highlight reels are telling us will often clash with reality. Instead, we can avoid the stress and suffering by accepting that life isn’t meant to be perfect, and so we don’t have to be perfect. For this I have learnt to adjust my expectations a little bit – what do I think is realistically possible to achieve with what I have? This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t dream big. But if we do, we need to have a healthy relationship with failure and setbacks. Instead, I like to dream big while taking tiny steps.

Also, when I am disappointed with how a situation turns out, I ask myself: Will this matter in 2 years? Or even 2 weeks? So many times I have lost in petty class quizzes/competitions and felt like a complete loser. But asking myself the above questions is the one thing that has helped me greatly to not make mountains out of molehills and instantly feel better.

All in all, disappointment is unnerving because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try, we can never control other people or external circumstances. The good news is that we have the power to control ourselves! Our thoughts, our attitudes, our actions. So, when reality doesn’t match your picture of what could have been, choose to look for beauty in the rubble. Choose optimism.

-SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

92 thoughts on “Hope and Disappointment

  1. You’ve touched on a dichotomy that I’ve struggled with for ever! And you’ve insightfully presented these 2 ideas as inevitably entwined, and put the potentially negative into perspective. And that Martin Luther King quote: fabulous!

    Liked by 2 people

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      · Antworten
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      Ok, you all think that I can’t do it , with Z; here goes, Zesta crackers, Zest, gotta wash those hands, Zeros for the sweet tooth, and for your health, zucchini and zinc supplements to fight Covid. 😜😜
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      radishes, red wine, romaine lettuce, raspberries, raisins — : like- ten, thousand kisses,; i’ll cover you. Thanx’s for your serv-icse.. Whatever! snazzy.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A lot also depends on your movements Saania, if you move a long distance from where you grow up to go to University or for work it is hard to sustain old friendships long distance unless you put a lot of effort in and if the friends you leave behind stay in the area they may not need or want to make the same effort. Those that do you should treasure and constantly make the time and effort for.

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  3. Credo sia ovvio che quando si spera ci possa essere una delusione, la delusione non è poi un male, è una delle molle che ci predispone a fare di più, a cercare altre strade, perchè è ovvio che dove c’è fallimento si può pensare che non è la strada giusta…EW poi la delusione va monitorata secondo l’occasione per cui è scaturita, non se ne può parlare in generale.
    Dico però che la speranza deve sempre esserci, l’umanità spera da sempre, altrimenti non saremmo sopravvissuti alle epoche passate.


  4. Well, displaced hope can cause misery because not all serve our desires, and life isn’t always going to go our way. When you are young, the lack of experience makes you quite vulnerable. That’s why it’s good to be close to your parents and others who have experienced what you have. Hope has made me mad a few times, and I’ve been abused by faith. Faith and hope are different but get mixed up. Hope carries me along, too. The older we get, the more people come in and out of our lives without us caring as much. Life isn’t one-size-fits-all. I’m joking a bit, but I think the same people who wrote Disney movies grew up and wrote this… Yes, I know, and I’m being sarcastic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5kiFDunk8 Good luck to her, right? Wish her luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Perfect reflection and alternative of action before the setbacks of life before our previous expectations.

    From your profile picture, he interpreted that you are young. If so, your mind is much more mature than that of many “mature.” And, if you are not as young as you appear in the photograph, you still have a privileged mind.

    Luis NICOLÁS.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Perfect reflection and alternative of action before the setbacks of life before our previous expectations.

    From your profile picture, he interpreted that you are young. If so, your mind is much more mature than that of many “mature.” And, if you are not as young as you appear in the photograph, you still have a privileged mind.

    Luis NICOLÁS.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I remember this quote. I never met Dr. King, but I had a great amount of respect for him. About 20 years ago, I was in Birmingham, Alabama. I was taking training to lead a program in a Texas maximum prison. The trainer was a black woman from Florida, filled with the Spirit. We were both flying out late in the evening and were at the airport together (her flight was about an hour after mine). I asked her if she would like to eat dinner with me and she accepted, so we went into a very nice restaurant and had dinner together. She made a comment to me, “When I was growing up, I never thought there would be a time in my life when I could see me eating dinner in a restaurant, with a white man, and he was buying my dinner for me.” She then said, we have time, want to go to Freedom Park and then to the Babtist Church where the littles girls died when a bomb went off? I said yes, let’s go and we did. We got back to the airport with plenty of time and got the opportunity to talk about our experience that day. She said, “when people tell me nothing has changed, I’m going to talk about this day.” I told her, well when people tell me nothing has changed, it’s because we don’t allow the change to happen within us.” She passed away a couple of years ago, but I still think about what she said, but also what she believed. Keep up your writing, we all need to hear your words.


  8. Hope.
    We need this.
    And we can have the other side too…
    But we need one and the other,
    To advance in life,
    To build ourself.
    To know our limits,
    And to dream again and again.

    Miss G très admirative ^^ de tes écrits. Continue !


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