The feeling inside us to be like others is instilled from a very early stage of our lives because of the society we live in. When we are little, playing in the park in the playground, we first begin to notice the differences between ourselves and other children, and we start to mirror the behavior of a dominant group in order to be accepted by them. This mimicry continues into school, high school, and all the way into adulthood, when we unintentionally or unconsciously try to be like others.
Some of us, however, are unable or unwilling to sandpaper ourselves down in order to fit within society’s expectations. The more I delve into this, the more I believe there is a little unbelonging in all of us. We spend our lives attempting to disguise it, but if you scratch the surface of yourself, you will find that it is who you are and what makes you, you. I have always tried to fit in with the people around me at school, even if it didn’t bring me any joy. After a while, I realised I am my own kind of person, and will never be them. The right people who appreciate the true me have always found a way to be in my life.
Perhaps it would be empowering to embrace our differences, rather than fear them. Instead of living our lives in monochrome, it may be more fulfilling to search for the variance and colours, and we can then allow ourselves to be accepted for who we truly are – not for the fragments of our characters we allow people to see. The view from this side can turn out to be the most interesting we ever imagined, and we could very well discover that unbelonging is actually a belonging all of its own.
Feeling accepted means you are part of something, you belong, you have a tribe – and oh that feels good! On the other hand, when we’re not liked, it’s rejection, exclusion, we feel different and weird – and that feels… not too great! However, the less you try to be like others, the happier you will be with yourself. After a while, all the fitting in gets simply exhausting. You find beauty in being yourself. So, why try to fit in when you were born to stand out? Embrace your individuality and take pride in who you are.
⁃ SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻♀️