We often fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others as we scroll through various different social media. We also make judgements about how we don’t/can’t measure up against them. Unfortunately, social media is a place that triggers that unpleasant self-disdain, and this, as I’ve seen is so very unhealthy. In our modern world, social media exists as a tool to highlight the best parts of us and our lives, meaning comparisons have become stronger, but also more unfair.
Sonja Lyubormirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, said that “people who are happy use themselves for internal evaluation.” While in many cases comparisons help us learn from each other, other times, they rob us from gratitude and fulfilment in our own lives. When I find myself thinking that someone is better than me on social media, what I really find myself doing is trying to meet unrealistic expectations. So, in the long run, we should compare ourselves to nobody but ourself.
The truth is, the people we compare ourselves to on social media are almost always enduring struggles that we aren’t aware of. And yet, we typically tend to compare the worst we know about ourselves to the best we presume about them. However, when we do come to know about the fact that even their lives are far from perfect, this just goes to show that everyone, even society-adored ‘perfect’ people aren’t perfect. No amount of physical beautification can mask the fact that we’ll never be content with ourselves. The best we can do then is love ourselves unconditionally and realize that there’s more to life than the internet. It might feel like everything to someone living in this decade, but there are oodles of other things in life to encounter. We can do ourselves a favour and take some time off our screens to think about what we want to make out of our lives, because it is the one thing we solely have and can control.

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻♀️
It was a wonderful read 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
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This should be required reading for anybody using social media. Well written, Saania!
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Completely agree 👍
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Wonderful post. Lot to learn.
😊 🙏
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Thank you for this excellent article. Some people also lie on social media. Some do this deliberately, while others lie to themselves and these lies filter across into social media. I.E. a person tries to convince themselves that there life is perfect and this image of a perfect life is then portrayed on social media platforms. There is a wider problem with technology becoming the master rather than (as it should be) the servant of the individual and of society more generally. For example couples sitting together in restaurants absorbed with their mobile phones rather than communicating with one another, or friends out for a drink doing likewise. At the age of 52 I still remember sitting in a library full of books and no technology of any kind other than electricity powering the heating and lighting systems. Whilst I’m certainly no luddite, there is something to be said for the pre-digital days. Best. Kevin
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So true.
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It is wonderful that you have learned this truth at such a young age.
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When I was young, there was no social media, so I never compared myself to anyone. By the time it arrived, I was too old to care. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nicely done❤️
I agree comparison is most helpful when we use the differences to inspire us to try something new or do something better. ❤️
Sadly, it’s all too easy to fall into negative self-talk. 🥲
Aside from the blogging platform I’m rarely on social media because it’s true what you say…most users only show their best vying for adoration of appearing perfect instead of being genuine.
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Well said Teri. Comparison with others should be for learning purposes only. But it’s easier to avoid it all together than be on it and struggle with its implications. I avoid social media as muchbas I can to. Replaced it with blogging and reading.
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I believe you’re spot on Kevin , especially with the blogging. It offers a different kind of connection for both the writer and reader. 😃
Thanks for taking time to comment. Your insight and perspective are always appreciated ❣️🤗
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Thank you for your kind comment🙏.
Welcome, always glad to🙂🤗
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SMiLes Young SaaniaSparkle We CuRReNTLY
LiVE iN A ‘He’ World All That’s
Missing
is ‘S’ in Front
of that To make
it More of A Cooperative
World than Competitive World
For The ‘HE’ is Symbol For Our Reptile
Brain In More Patriarchal And Even Toxic
Patriarchal Driven Cultures As The ‘S’ That Completes
The ‘He’ is the ‘SHe’ World More Cooperative Indeed
More Limbic System Orientated Toward Love For
Bonds and Binds For Cooperation For Survival
Oh Yeah,
And Then There
Is ‘The Executive’
Of This Cognitive Functioning
of Cooperation Verses Competition
(Our NeWesT Neo-Cortical Brain)
Our ReASoNS For What Works in
Past to Make Our Future Best Now
In Trinity of Human Minds All Complete
So Shall This Be More ‘He’ For heART
More S And M Sado Masochist For smART
Like Folks Who
Sadly Take
Competition to the
Extreme in Selfishness
And Ignorance Like those
Who Refuse to Get Vaccinated
And Even Masked in Cooperation
to Avoid Spreading A Deadly Pandemic
to Others Seeing Selfish Competition as the Prize…
So Who Are We, Only Reptile Competitive Beings
Or the ‘S’ With ‘He’ That Makes Both Supermen and or
Superwomen of Cooperation Now… Yes True We ARe
Both A Mix
of Art in
smART
And heART
As Well As True
The Weight of S in
SHe Must Weigh more
Than 33 Percent to Work
True More Like 60 Percent of Art in heART And smART to Truly Be Effective…
Now For Real… Other than That While Human Ego is A Necessity For
the Social Animal to Adapt to Cultures Humans Co-Create
Brought Down in Shame And Brought Up in Applause
For Common Binds and Bonds to Bring Order to
Large and Very Heterogenous Cultures At
Hand From Devolving into Chaos
Of Anarchy Our Technology
And Of Course
Enough
Financial Independence
Allows Us to Ascend And Transcend
This Reptile Brain Competition of Patriarchy
Yet True The Shadow Remains Yet Also True
We May Ascend AS Humans Whole and Enough Complete
In A Practice of Perfecting WHere Indeed THere is No Mountain
High or Valley Low Only Do in the Autotelic FLoW iN A Meditation of
Arts We Do Yes A Narrow Path on Task And Continuously increasing Complexity
Now of Human Potentials Tween Anxiety and Apathy Yet Never the Less Now For REAL
A Practice
of Perfecting
Life Now of
Bliss Yes Nirvana
Yes Real Heaven Within Now
in Other Words Young SaaniaSparkle
All These Words Are Only Fumes From
My Real Heaven Within Still Perfecting Eternally
Now
i
Create
Now And
Just Do… Now
With Big SMiLes of
Course Understanding
Fully i Am No Lower than
A Mountain Top Now And No
Higher Than the Same Bottom of
This Valley As Base of this Pyramid
i See
From
The
Top of the Bottom…
Or Tree Or LiViNG LaMP of Breath
Vine Low Root High DarK iS LiGHT..:)
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Nice flow.
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Thanks
my Friend😊
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Welcome 🙂
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😊
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Comparing is not always a worthwhile endeavour, but do be willing to use those parts of others that inspire you to become role models for who and what you can be.
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Well said Saania! We have 7.9 billion people in the world and each one of us is unique. You have to love who you are and be the best person you can be. In comparing to others, use that as a means to improve and grow, but never put yourself down. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom 💖
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A true fact.
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Great!
Sometimes when I read another’s opinion, I ask, Would I see that person in heaven? Followed by a more important question: Will I find myself in heaven?
Judgement is a tough thing. For it to be applied best, it should be done by One who is by nature free from it.
-Alan
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So true! The world would be really boring if we were all the same. God knew what He was doing!
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This exactly
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Hi Saania,
ANYONE WHO WANT INSPIRATION FOR BLOGGING CAN VISIT THIS SITE.
An inspiring story of a 19 year old Delhi blogger. Please visit her: https://blabberblah.wordpress.com
(It’s not a spamm Saania. You should know her.)
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Social media is not real life. So no point in comparing yourself to someone on social media. It is just a “media” presentation of themselves. Good post Saania!
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Very true
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comparing ourselves to famous people makes no sense, but yet it is something we all do at some point in some way
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It’s the innate desire for better in us. But we can lesrnbtinrise above it and be our own persons. Only compare to learn and observe new possibilities and potentials.
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Agree. First of all, you need to think about your life, its dynamics, its tasks; think about how to solve them and rejoice at your successes in comparison with your past states.
These comparisons with others relate not only to social networks, but also to all comparisons with other people in life: colleagues, neighbors, relatives … Of course, you need to have exactly your own landmarks to which you strive.
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Well put. Comparing for purposes of growth and marking progress is healthy. I like your point on having own landmarks.
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thanks for the support. I always feel warmth for a person with whom I have a community.🤝
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Welcome, I’m glad to 🤝
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🌞
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford.
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A true and lovely message.
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There are definitely times when social media can try the soul, that’s for sure.
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Reblogged this on Wonders of Wandering.
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Gorgeous blog
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There was no Internet and Social media when I was your age! Life was simpler! We had to remember phone numbers and flip through atlases and encyclopedias to do homework and research hahaha! Technology is a useful thing but takes away surprises….long ago a holiday overseas was an adventure but now destinations are only worth going if rated with 5 stars! Oh well, times have changed…comparing ourselves to others can be a good thing if we are inspired to improve ourselves more and have a healthy realistic perspective and expectations. No one is perfect. We just need to wake up every morning and decide to do our best 😀
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Saania, hi, I hope you are really well. Once again you write with insight and clarity. Social media reveals people partially at best. There is so much more to us for good or ill. It’s a complexity worth knowing in ourselves. We can map our lives, if we will, to work on realizing our better dreams and aims. Pressure from perceptions of incomplete profiles and agendas doesn’t help. We should not do this to ourselves. We have better self-work to do.
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This awareness isn’t known by many and they tend to confuse it with real life. It’s unfortunate but it’s the price for ignorance perhaps?
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Good morning mem
I have a fever
https://pkn067940.wixsite.com/my-site-33
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This is a life lesson!
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The earth Our classroom
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Beautiful Saania I agree with you on comparison. Every individual have different traits. But you are so matured in your writing thats really amazing. keep up the good work. Lot of things to learn from young reader like you.
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Sssnia madam you proved today you are a great personality,I salut you
On Sat, Jul 31, 2021, 20:03 saania2806.wordpress.com wrote:
> dasdalia2729 commented: “Beautiful Saania I agree with you on comparison. > Every individual have different traits. But you are so matured in your > writing thats really amazing. keep up the good work. Lot of things to learn > from young reader like you. ” >
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Thank you for following me. Elisa 😍
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Ok mem
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So true.
However, I have always failed to understand this urge of comparing, because I have never compared myself with others, be it in social media, or in the real world, for I knew –
‘Cause EVERYONE is evolving, a work in progress, so cannot be ANYONE’s final goal.
“The world is not my benchmark.”
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because each of us is a unique entity, so cannot be compared.
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Thank you so much for this useful article!
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Nice
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are you angry with me?
On Mon, Aug 2, 2021, 13:59 saania2806.wordpress.com wrote:
> Priyadarshni Sahu commented: “Nice” >
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No I am not angry 🙂
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What I was going to reply with has already been stared with more deft than I could manage. Instead, I’ll just post “good read!” and let you go about your day.
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Thank you mem
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The only competition that makes sense is for us to strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday. Good post!
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Well articulated. I agree, we should be our own competition and only compare with others for learning purposes. Falling into the trap of societal pressure to conform is something we should all rise above and know definitively who we are and what we want then stick to it and reach for it at own pace
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I feel you. Where I come from, the parents do the comparison and only measure their children’s weak point with their neighbor’s children’s strong point and forget that we all have our weak points in different areas. Children are not even given room for self evaluation. I don’t know if that happens all over the world though🤷♀️. (I’m a child, so I’m conversant with this😶)
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This is so true. Especially for myself. Although I’m a new travel blogger, I constantly compare myself to others who have bigger followings than me, but I have to remind myself that they’ve been doing this a lot longer, so try not to compare myself. It’s silly really, but I do it all the time. Thanks so much for sharing.
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Thats powerful
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Nice advice for living a happy life.
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Such wonderful words!
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Absolutely. There is always a back story that we have no idea about.
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the strange contradiction
the doubt within us
is not based on that
what we think and want
It is the drama of the soul
the judges with their judgment
about our thoughts and actions
above and below our consciousness beyond
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non frequento i social media, non li amo anche se a volte ne riconosco l’utilità in alcuni aspetti.
Sicuramente mi piace confrontarmi anche con gli altri, l’ho fatto nel lavoro, negli studi, nella vita quotidiana…ma sicuramente se trovo che la persona con cui mi confronto non mi sta dando nulla di positivo resto ben salda a me stessa. Alcuni incontri della mia vita mi hanno aiutato a migliorare, crescere, ma mai ho pensato a rinunciare a ciò che fondamentalmente sono.
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Comparisons to others creates win-lose situations. I strive to find win-win encounters.
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Nice post👏
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Its really a wonderful post and I feel that we should not get affected by others in social media.
Every one has their own journey 🙂
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That so true, were all different and unique. Comparing our unique selves with people we sometimes, we don’t even know just makes us feel bad.
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Reblogged this on Redvince's Weblog.
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