Don’t compare yourself to strangers

We often fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others as we scroll through various different social media. We also make judgements about how we don’t/can’t measure up against them. Unfortunately, social media is a place that triggers that unpleasant self-disdain, and this, as I’ve seen is so very unhealthy. In our modern world, social media exists as a tool to highlight the best parts of us and our lives, meaning comparisons have become stronger, but also more unfair.

Sonja Lyubormirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, said that “people who are happy use themselves for internal evaluation.” While in many cases comparisons help us learn from each other, other times, they rob us from gratitude and fulfilment in our own lives. When I find myself thinking that someone is better than me on social media, what I really find myself doing is trying to meet unrealistic expectations. So, in the long run, we should compare ourselves to nobody but ourself.

The truth is, the people we compare ourselves to on social media are almost always enduring struggles that we aren’t aware of. And yet, we typically tend to compare the worst we know about ourselves to the best we presume about them. However, when we do come to know about the fact that even their lives are far from perfect, this just goes to show that everyone, even society-adored ‘perfect’ people aren’t perfect. No amount of physical beautification can mask the fact that we’ll never be content with ourselves. The best we can do then is love ourselves unconditionally and realize that there’s more to life than the internet. It might feel like everything to someone living in this decade, but there are oodles of other things in life to encounter. We can do ourselves a favour and take some time off our screens to think about what we want to make out of our lives, because it is the one thing we solely have and can control.

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

140 thoughts on “Don’t compare yourself to strangers

  1. Thank you for this excellent article. Some people also lie on social media. Some do this deliberately, while others lie to themselves and these lies filter across into social media. I.E. a person tries to convince themselves that there life is perfect and this image of a perfect life is then portrayed on social media platforms. There is a wider problem with technology becoming the master rather than (as it should be) the servant of the individual and of society more generally. For example couples sitting together in restaurants absorbed with their mobile phones rather than communicating with one another, or friends out for a drink doing likewise. At the age of 52 I still remember sitting in a library full of books and no technology of any kind other than electricity powering the heating and lighting systems. Whilst I’m certainly no luddite, there is something to be said for the pre-digital days. Best. Kevin

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Nicely done❤️

    I agree comparison is most helpful when we use the differences to inspire us to try something new or do something better. ❤️

    Sadly, it’s all too easy to fall into negative self-talk. 🥲

    Aside from the blogging platform I’m rarely on social media because it’s true what you say…most users only show their best vying for adoration of appearing perfect instead of being genuine.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Well said Teri. Comparison with others should be for learning purposes only. But it’s easier to avoid it all together than be on it and struggle with its implications. I avoid social media as muchbas I can to. Replaced it with blogging and reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I believe you’re spot on Kevin , especially with the blogging. It offers a different kind of connection for both the writer and reader. 😃

        Thanks for taking time to comment. Your insight and perspective are always appreciated ❣️🤗

        Liked by 2 people

  3. SMiLes Young SaaniaSparkle We CuRReNTLY
    LiVE iN A ‘He’ World All That’s
    Missing

    is ‘S’ in Front

    of that To make

    it More of A Cooperative

    World than Competitive World

    For The ‘HE’ is Symbol For Our Reptile

    Brain In More Patriarchal And Even Toxic

    Patriarchal Driven Cultures As The ‘S’ That Completes

    The ‘He’ is the ‘SHe’ World More Cooperative Indeed

    More Limbic System Orientated Toward Love For

    Bonds and Binds For Cooperation For Survival

    Oh Yeah,

    And Then There
    Is ‘The Executive’

    Of This Cognitive Functioning
    of Cooperation Verses Competition

    (Our NeWesT Neo-Cortical Brain)

    Our ReASoNS For What Works in

    Past to Make Our Future Best Now

    In Trinity of Human Minds All Complete

    So Shall This Be More ‘He’ For heART

    More S And M Sado Masochist For smART

    Like Folks Who

    Sadly Take

    Competition to the
    Extreme in Selfishness

    And Ignorance Like those

    Who Refuse to Get Vaccinated

    And Even Masked in Cooperation

    to Avoid Spreading A Deadly Pandemic

    to Others Seeing Selfish Competition as the Prize…

    So Who Are We, Only Reptile Competitive Beings

    Or the ‘S’ With ‘He’ That Makes Both Supermen and or
    Superwomen of Cooperation Now… Yes True We ARe

    Both A Mix

    of Art in

    smART

    And heART

    As Well As True

    The Weight of S in
    SHe Must Weigh more

    Than 33 Percent to Work

    True More Like 60 Percent of Art in heART And smART to Truly Be Effective…

    Now For Real… Other than That While Human Ego is A Necessity For
    the Social Animal to Adapt to Cultures Humans Co-Create

    Brought Down in Shame And Brought Up in Applause

    For Common Binds and Bonds to Bring Order to

    Large and Very Heterogenous Cultures At

    Hand From Devolving into Chaos

    Of Anarchy Our Technology

    And Of Course

    Enough

    Financial Independence

    Allows Us to Ascend And Transcend

    This Reptile Brain Competition of Patriarchy
    Yet True The Shadow Remains Yet Also True

    We May Ascend AS Humans Whole and Enough Complete

    In A Practice of Perfecting WHere Indeed THere is No Mountain

    High or Valley Low Only Do in the Autotelic FLoW iN A Meditation of

    Arts We Do Yes A Narrow Path on Task And Continuously increasing Complexity

    Now of Human Potentials Tween Anxiety and Apathy Yet Never the Less Now For REAL

    A Practice

    of Perfecting

    Life Now of

    Bliss Yes Nirvana

    Yes Real Heaven Within Now

    in Other Words Young SaaniaSparkle

    All These Words Are Only Fumes From

    My Real Heaven Within Still Perfecting Eternally

    Now

    i

    Create

    Now And
    Just Do… Now
    With Big SMiLes of
    Course Understanding
    Fully i Am No Lower than
    A Mountain Top Now And No
    Higher Than the Same Bottom of
    This Valley As Base of this Pyramid

    i See
    From

    The

    Top of the Bottom…
    Or Tree Or LiViNG LaMP of Breath
    Vine Low Root High DarK iS LiGHT..:)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Well said Saania! We have 7.9 billion people in the world and each one of us is unique. You have to love who you are and be the best person you can be. In comparing to others, use that as a means to improve and grow, but never put yourself down. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom 💖

    Liked by 5 people

    1. It’s the innate desire for better in us. But we can lesrnbtinrise above it and be our own persons. Only compare to learn and observe new possibilities and potentials.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Agree. First of all, you need to think about your life, its dynamics, its tasks; think about how to solve them and rejoice at your successes in comparison with your past states.
    These comparisons with others relate not only to social networks, but also to all comparisons with other people in life: colleagues, neighbors, relatives … Of course, you need to have exactly your own landmarks to which you strive.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. There was no Internet and Social media when I was your age! Life was simpler! We had to remember phone numbers and flip through atlases and encyclopedias to do homework and research hahaha! Technology is a useful thing but takes away surprises….long ago a holiday overseas was an adventure but now destinations are only worth going if rated with 5 stars! Oh well, times have changed…comparing ourselves to others can be a good thing if we are inspired to improve ourselves more and have a healthy realistic perspective and expectations. No one is perfect. We just need to wake up every morning and decide to do our best 😀

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Saania, hi, I hope you are really well. Once again you write with insight and clarity. Social media reveals people partially at best. There is so much more to us for good or ill. It’s a complexity worth knowing in ourselves. We can map our lives, if we will, to work on realizing our better dreams and aims. Pressure from perceptions of incomplete profiles and agendas doesn’t help. We should not do this to ourselves. We have better self-work to do.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Beautiful Saania I agree with you on comparison. Every individual have different traits. But you are so matured in your writing thats really amazing. keep up the good work. Lot of things to learn from young reader like you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sssnia madam you proved today you are a great personality,I salut you

      On Sat, Jul 31, 2021, 20:03 saania2806.wordpress.com wrote:

      > dasdalia2729 commented: “Beautiful Saania I agree with you on comparison. > Every individual have different traits. But you are so matured in your > writing thats really amazing. keep up the good work. Lot of things to learn > from young reader like you. ” >

      Liked by 1 person

  9. So true.

    However, I have always failed to understand this urge of comparing, because I have never compared myself with others, be it in social media, or in the real world, for I knew –
    ‘Cause EVERYONE is evolving, a work in progress, so cannot be ANYONE’s final goal.

    “The world is not my benchmark.”

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Well articulated. I agree, we should be our own competition and only compare with others for learning purposes. Falling into the trap of societal pressure to conform is something we should all rise above and know definitively who we are and what we want then stick to it and reach for it at own pace

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I feel you. Where I come from, the parents do the comparison and only measure their children’s weak point with their neighbor’s children’s strong point and forget that we all have our weak points in different areas. Children are not even given room for self evaluation. I don’t know if that happens all over the world though🤷‍♀️. (I’m a child, so I’m conversant with this😶)

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is so true. Especially for myself. Although I’m a new travel blogger, I constantly compare myself to others who have bigger followings than me, but I have to remind myself that they’ve been doing this a lot longer, so try not to compare myself. It’s silly really, but I do it all the time. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. the strange contradiction
    the doubt within us
    is not based on that
    what we think and want
    It is the drama of the soul
    the judges with their judgment
    about our thoughts and actions
    above and below our consciousness beyond

    Like

  14. non frequento i social media, non li amo anche se a volte ne riconosco l’utilità in alcuni aspetti.
    Sicuramente mi piace confrontarmi anche con gli altri, l’ho fatto nel lavoro, negli studi, nella vita quotidiana…ma sicuramente se trovo che la persona con cui mi confronto non mi sta dando nulla di positivo resto ben salda a me stessa. Alcuni incontri della mia vita mi hanno aiutato a migliorare, crescere, ma mai ho pensato a rinunciare a ciò che fondamentalmente sono.

    Like

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