What makes a friend?

The people we choose to let into our lives leave one of the greatest impacts on our hearts. Kenzoku “眷族” is a Japanese word that loosely translates to ‘family’. However, it suggests a deeper meaning: the deepest connection of friendship. It is camaraderie, the family we choose for ourselves. The other day I was marveling over the kinds of people who have stumbled across my life. Then I came to wonder, what makes a true friend?

💜 A true friend is someone who accepts you for who you are. When you are around them, you never have to pretend to be someone you are not. They accept your flaws and love you just the way you are.

💜  A true friend is never envious. They understand that you may have to do your thing, so they do their thing, and you celebrate one another without jealousy or animosity.

💜 Around a true friend, you feel safe, comfortable, and loved.

💜 A true friend is not superficial. They are willing to get deep with you. I was talking to my dad one day about how I have always only let people in so far. How I have always put on a facade because I never wanted people to get to know the real me. I have done a lot of growing ever since, and realized that true friends let you see the good, the bad, and the ugly.

💜 A true friend shows up. I cannot count the number of times people cancel plans on the very last minute. A true friend makes friendship the priority. We all have seasons in our lives when we get extremely busy, but if someone matters to you, you find a way to make it work. You find a way to be there.

💜 True friends don’t leave you when things get difficult. I agree with the old saying “actions speak louder than words”. Many people tell you that they will be there for you when you need them, but during tough times, true friends are the ones who choose to stay. They stick around no matter the circumstances, and never walk away when you are scared, overwhelmed, or dealing with a hard time.

💜 You do not hurt the ones you love. You do not humiliate the ones you love. You do not lie to the ones you love. True friendship is about love, and loving someone unconditionally.

As I write this post, I picture three people in my life I consider kenzoku. How about you? Let me know in the comments!

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

190 thoughts on “What makes a friend?

  1. Wow my saania. You are right friend we choose. Friends are like jwellary we must take full care of them It’s very defficult to find a good sincere friend but one should handle with full care if one has one I have two very good friends so I always. Take full precautions to be sincere for them okay search one friend and keep her till end it needs constant effort now I am ending yours loving dadi sudha

    Liked by 4 people

  2. My comments are belated as I came to know about new post only yesterday evening.It is rather shame to me that I did not know earlier inspite of been your grand father.
    I read your article about friends.Though in my life of 85 years I had lots of friends but they came and gone for one reason or the other.I really never knew the importance and qualities of a friend ,they came without any efforts and gone also without any reason.Now at this age when I have no friend except you and family I got the meaning and quality of a friend.In fact my friends died when their time came.I mourned and felt their absence for some time then lived without them.
    Thanks Saania to enlighten me but it is late for me.However I shall try to remember in my dealings with you being my friend till I live.My blessings. BABU.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. What a well thought out definition of a friend who is as close as family. I have several very close friends, but only one who is my “sister.” We have been with each other through widowhood and remarriage, through health and kid problems. She is the closest friend I know of several who are very close. 🙂 Thank you for this. I’d love to have you participate with your philosophizing on Writer’s Quotes Wednesdays. This week’s topic is citizenship and since it is women’s history month, there’s a lot to be said! 🙂 Here’s a link to my post, if you’re interested. 🙂 https://tchistorygal.net/2021/03/03/writers-quotes-wednesdays-writing-challenge-14-citizenship/

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  4. Excellent list. I might rephrase “a true friend is never envious” to “a true friend is genuinely happy for your success”. I have many true friends and we readily admit to occasional feelings of jealousy but that doesn’t mean that we’re not overjoyed for each other’s good fortune.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Wow, this was so amazing to read!!! I don’t have many kenzoku’s but those who are, bless me every day with their friendship! You my friend are one of them haha no surprise there you are a very sweet friend, and I am so happy your in my life.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. You are wise beyond your years!

    For me, I really have to think about the number of kenzoku’s I have. Four come to mind. They are neighbors who help when any one of us needs help. We don’t have get-togethers, mostly chats at the mailbox or over the fence, but, we know that we can count on each other if we ever need help. We deeply appreciate each other.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Great post, Saania!
    Wow, great job on your blog! At 16, you have already created an amazing blogging community!
    If you read through your list of attributes a friend must embody to be a friend, you see that the match the definition’s of love as described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,
    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
    It’s a beautiful verse.
    If you continue this train of thought to Proverbs 17:17 it gets better,
    “A friend loves at all times…”
    So a friend will be patient, kid, never envious, never boasting, humble, kind, not self-seeking, not easily angered, forgiving in full, rejoices in the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, and never failing.
    I look at that, and I see that I have no friends, neither am I one.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Bless you, Saania, for this post on ‘friends’. The Christian Bible ask the same question but uses the word “Neighbor”. An expert in the law of Moses, in an attempt to justify himself, asked Jesus who is my neighbor? Hopefully your readers will revisit Luke 10:25-29 for the true meaning of a friend and/or a neighbor. Also, thanks for reading and your likes on so many of my blog submissions on WordPress and following http://www.tgifmasterminds.com. We have a lot in command.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. per me la parola amico negli anni è stata inflazionata…io parlerei di conoscenti. E io ne ho tanti.
    Di amici pochi, perchè l’amico, quello “vero”, è quello che hai delineato perfettamente nel tuo post. Io ho 4 vere amiche da ormai 30 anni…ecco la data la dice lunga. Una di queste per vedermi anche solo i 15 minuti che erano concessi dai medici quando stavo morendo , ha fatto 600 km in macchina da sola…la sua carezza è stato un grande dono, un dono che solo chi è vero amica può donare.
    L’amicizia è un dono che dobbiamo coltivare, rispettare, amare…e la vita diventa più vivibile, scorre con più facilità, anche nei momenti bui.
    Buona giornata e grazie per questa riflessione ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  10. True and well-spoken words! I like the second point … Oprah says you can’t be friends with someone who wants your life. Allowing each other’s individuality is important. You can’t compare. Honesty is another big one for me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. A ticket to London, England. One way.

      chemotherapy before, I really have sympathy for my sister-in-law’s situation. a list, in glitter pen, and affix it  mountions, cities, states – Aint it heavy

      Is it wrong to express condolence or sympathy before someone dies? How can I acknowledge her pain at watching a parent die and continue to withhold an olive branch? I am not ready to forgive her yet. reauthorize California’s End of Life Option Act, 

      GENTLE READER: The military, you are proposing. DJ — Dame Janye Seymour Fonda memoriam Sat. March – 1934 ] 2021 age 45 -85 yr. the lightning bolt of an (imaginary) baby cry. Please give me some hope here—do the phantom cries, (perhaps even too much). What can I do to calm them down? I know this is also a part of “millennial burnout”  I wasn’t earning my right to my daily breath. realm of normalcy…  but don’t/can’t talk about. The truth is that it is hard to get out of the bath

      2032: Lyrics VA Nova Summer

      commented: (IN YOUR MIND)-!!!!! charros abide…. Thank you! – Truth & a lie, 

      or wispering yoyoneeryone orsshefp

      Some britched trolls ” rephrase “a true friend is never envious” rephrase “a true friend is never envious” isolation of ego.

      your precocious wisdom impresses! 

      gratitude and affirmation

      Love — “The Dolcezza Stracciatella Nasty romantic a weekend, dreariest – let it be; Viagra chips half eaten whole { The Stracciatella…” “well said” “that is right” “Yes! winning more awards that way”

      Liked by 2 people

  11. At 60s I am more tolerable and forgiving. Friends come and fade away in the river of our lives. some stay with you until old some fade without a trace …. Those fade away may be true friends but then flow of lives pull each other apart…. TRUE as like truth could be sometime relative to our POV… So treasure those moments with friends

    Liked by 4 people

  12. I like the newer more informal word to describe close friendships, that are close enough to hold hands, hug platonically, go to the onsen together, anything that involves the human touch we have all been missing since the pandemic: スキンシプ. Sukinshippu…a katakana-ized version of skinship. Japanese society does not touch or hug as freely as western society, so a friend you can hug is a true friend indeed. If there is any interest I might do a post on this?

    Liked by 3 people

  13. So true! It always amazes me when people say mean things about their friends or talk about them behind their backs. I always think, “You don’t need to be around this person. If you don’t like them, let it go.” Thanks so much for the insightful post. I enjoyed this.

    Liked by 3 people

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