I Am Complete, Just The Way I Am

A lovely friend of mine educated me about an intriguing phenomenon called the Imposter Syndrome. Having gone through it herself, she says it makes one ‘feel like a fraud’. It is a psychological pattern in which one doubts their skills, talents, and accomplishments, and has a persistent internal fear of being exposed as a fraud. And despite a clear external evidence of their competence, they still feel persistent feelings of inadequacy and wrongly attribute their success to luck. Even though this topic in particular might seem extreme, it brings about some ideas that may be relevant to all of us from time to time.

I have often felt like there is some perfect “script” for conversations, and that I cannot say the wrong thing. I have also, therefore, had trouble asking for help from people due to my own high standards. To move past these feelings, I had to learn to become comfortable confronting some of those deeply ingrained beliefs I held about myself. And this is the tricky bit, since we often do not even realize that we hold them.

What helped me is letting my guard down, and letting others see the real me. The good news is that being a perfectionist means that we care deeply about the quality of our work. But the key is to continue to strive for excellence when it matters most, and forgive ourselves when inevitable mistakes occur. We are often burdened by misguided rules such as, “I should always know the answer,” or “I should never ask for help”. But all of us have just as much right as the next person to be wrong, make mistakes, or ask for assistance, and at the end of the day there is really no such thing as perfect.

Another important lesson is to stop comparing. Every time I compare myself to others in a social situation, I end up finding some or the other ‘flaw’ or ‘fault’ within me that fuels the feeling of not being good enough to belong. We must focus on ourselves, invest time in the things we love doing, and we will realize that there is a boundless amount of things that make us who we are.

The most relevant example in my life currently would certainly be school. And I’ve come to terms with the fact that we are so much more than our grades. I have often asked myself, “when is good enough ever good enough? While striving for perfection is certainly noble, it can usually be unrealistic. What’s more important is turning these feelings into ones of gratitude – looking at what we have accomplished in our lives and being grateful for every success. And I am lucky enough to have a support system around me who sees it that way.

Please don't let them find out I am just an imposter! | by Ayush Mangal |  Quarantine Blogs | Medium

– SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

190 thoughts on “I Am Complete, Just The Way I Am

  1. Very good Saania! I am astonished to know that you choose such intense topics and learning hard facts of life in such a young age. These topics are rarely discussed in the public domain.
    Well done 👍

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Interesting post. I have often felt a fraud. I don’t think we will find any answers until we understand the nature of consciousness. Then perhaps we will be able to alter our state of mind to the way we would like it to be..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes! Great post. Story of my life. What can make it worse is if you sabotage yourself to confirm your impostor beliefs. When someone compliments you but you think something negative because of your syndrome. “No, I’m not good.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I look forward to doing some designs based on the ideas this goddess shares with me . Please inbox me when u are ready , I see u are as brilliant as u are beautiful.

    Cosplay Art Photo Shoot

    Sup, I’m Demetrius A MCcoy , the practice of field work as a functioning graphic artist here in Newport News Virginia has began. With prices that climb or lower due to shading and/or adding color , any character u would like to be drawn as or to be drawn for u is a reality . With money over handing masterpiece, u can be doing a cosplay art photo shoot today ! U are more then welcome to attend or even partner up with us. It will be held at #MainStreetLibrary ……….Age limits Vary ( https://vexedinsainityarts.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/cosplay-model.jpeg ) …..( https://vexedinsainityarts.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/hentai.jpg…… https://vexedinsainityartscomics.wordpress.com/ ) ……………….. For Auditions Use this link: https://duo.app.goo.gl/HJ2CsaV

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Metaphorically, Old War
      

      I was told, among disappeared!!

      twisted lover: voices chill, echo core

      months returned

      wierdo??

      she has hated her name,

      Australia. She so –

      numb believed dry

      Metaphorically, Old War

      not a gender-neutral thing, by the way—just a question.

      Open document settings
      Open publish panel
      Document

      Liked by 2 people

  5. HEY, can we chat about some new goddess designs I want to do of u… inbox me . #goddessart  #vexedinsanityarts #muse , I illastrate poems and stories too texts #cosplaymodel to 757-291-3491, names Demetrius Andre Mccoy Owner of Vexed Insanity Arts. vexedinsainityarts.files.wordpress.com
    Auditions are open and optional meeting locations very.

    Add me on Duo so we can video chat. Use this link: https://duo.app.goo.gl/HJ2CsaV

    #Vexedinsanityarts@instagram.com

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Knowing that everything God created is good (which means we are) and striving to be what God wants us to be and not comparing ourselves with other people or attempting to please them, but rather seeking only to please God – this is indeed a permanent place of peace.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. It’s most likely not much of a philosophy, but I believe that everyone makes mistakes and that mistakes are errors and not sins. Ideally, we fix the errors with no or little drama and move on. Certainly, a person’s worth cannot be measured based on perfection or even accuracy. I think what you say here is practical in that so much good energy is saved from comparisons and anxiety over the comparisons. I’m happy to know that you have a support system that reinforces accomplishment and gratitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. From grandma’s perspective – NO ONE is “perfect”. And perfection is NOT rewarded – is in fact, PUNISHED in this world. Perfection, or the pursuit of it, will get you ridiculed, will get you used and discarded, will encourage your employer/teacher/family to simply raise the bar higher, will cause envy and resentment and active sabotage by those who are not willing to put in the work you do. And perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. What is perfection to one, is terrible to someone else. Perfect being yourself. Do your best. But don’t worry about being perfect for anyone or anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Some very mature and profound observations here, Saania, and that too from a teenager like you. Just the way to go. There is no place for either inferior or superior complexes in life as every being, in a larger sense, is a unique embodiment of features, thoughts and aspirations. Thanks for dropping by and liking one of my offerings and thereby connecting me to your world. Best wishes…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank you very much for your reflection Saania. I have also gone through the same in the past. He felt that he couldn’t be that good, nor have so many positive aptitudes … for fear of being cocky or arrogant. But modesty can be a problem, when it is in excess. A huge greeting!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”
    All the best. Keep well
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Noemi ban painted vivid dreams inside
      We now honor
      She guided through
      Hold my hand: we gather together Striped her clothes, cold war
      A Mother survived each
      Talks evil must hate
      I’ll still hold
      Her word– The No ones I Like, Both Lines
      Genes Phasing
      em><I cemetery<Black
      Rhythm
      Standing Naked In The dark< World war 2 happens like a genocide
      Solders peek pie
      A coded catastrophic letter, Blood-lines
      Memories, laws pass ‘97

      Letter Burning
      Suttogás
      Sayonara MaMa Je'tamie
      Noemi Ban #62928 Allies remember she's not just
      Saved my life one-gone;

      Aged 84 or 96

      Liked by 1 person

  12. La perfezione umana è irreale, ma è reale quanto ognuno di noi ha potenziali da mettere in atto in ogni aspetto della vita.
    La base è crederci, ma per credere nelle nostre qualità abbiamo bisogno di un’infanzia dove chi ci deve accompagnare e monitorare le sappia riconoscere e darci modo di metterle in atto, anche sbagliando.
    E’ importante credere in se stessi e nelle nostre potenzialità, ma non è sempre faciole nè possibile.
    Complimenti per la tua presa in atto della tua persona, è bello avere intorno persone positive.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hi Saania, you are absolutely right.

    I have experienced that if we solely focus on the outside for our personal self-image, as someone like my personality, we will never get enough of our delusional self-perfection. As we take charge of our own needs, interests, words, actions, etc., we start to feel more comfortable under our own skin and our days become more enjoyable and we feel more in power with a sense of validated existence.

    I can see that you are gaining more real self-confidence there. This is good💖🌹

    Liked by 4 people

  14. Beautiful post! I’m so proud of you for finding out your worth while you were young. I didn’t until I was older and I wasted so much time. I feel it would’ve been most useful when I was young. But, I also think, better late than never! Thank you for posting!

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Your words of wisdom are an inspiration to those of us feel those same notions but at times are too embarrassed to admit them not only to others but themselves. Wonderful article. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.

    Liked by 1 person

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