Your Journey, Not Theirs

“Comparison is the thief of joy”- Teddy Roosevelt

I have discovered that there is an infinite number of things and people upon which we can potentially compare ourselves to. And with how flooded we are by social media nowadays, it’s easier than ever to habitually find someone who seems to be living a “better” life than us, which only serves to make us feel miserable about ourselves. You have probably, at some point, felt the animosity boil in your blood, and your fists clenching by the envy surging up your brain. But the truth is, we have all been there! Unfortunately, once we drive down the road of jealousy, there is never an end.

Jealousy definitely plays a deadly role of stealing the joy from our lives, since we are continually tapering off our self-confidence in thinking that someone is better than us. But some times, we compare ourselves against inaccurate information. All of us show a part of ourselves to the outside world, with the other half remaining hidden forever, at least to the the common world. I mean, how many times have people asked us how we’re doing, when we’re having the day of our defeats and yet we bite our tongues and say, “everything is going great!”, when really, deep down we feel like a failure, or just about ready to lose our minds. The people we compare ourselves to are almost always enduring some struggles that we aren’t aware of. And so we typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others. As Steve Furtick explains, “The reason why we struggle with insecurities is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

Comparing is also a losing battle. It puts us in a bubble of overwhelming emotions that make us feel burdened. We dwell upon our weaknesses and are so blindsided by them, that we forget about our strengths, powers, and achievements. We forget the fact that we are also unique in our own ways. And by falling into this ever-alluring trap, we seriously start to use others as a benchmark for our own worth. But no matter how hard we try to beat ourselves up, we can never become someone else, and we can never become perfect. Because the truth is, in this game of life, we never really reach a point where we have the ability to be better than others in every single way. We are humans, not flawless creatures.

We live our lives to pursue our dreams. Sometimes, however, some people will have better ways of doing things than we do. It’s easy to feel irked by that, but it’s also possible to take it under the best possible light to lift ourselves up, rather than flying off the handle over the fact that we think that they are better than us. Whenever my parents compare me to other people my age, I feel exasperated. I feel like they think that this person is better than me. But that isn’t true. As humans, we can become just so stubborn at times, that we fail to accept our weaknesses in front of others. Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than us, is rather ineffective than to figure out or wonder why this is so and what we’re doing wrong. In fact, part of what makes life so amazing is learning from the talents of others to become better versions of ourselves. Besides, we don’t lose anything in trying to learn from others, only a whole lot of ego!

So, since comparison is the death of joy, let us try to keep in mind that nobody is perfect. All of us have great strengths and all of us are working along our weaknesses. And trust me, the freedom found in comparing less is entirely worth the effort!

-SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️

183 thoughts on “Your Journey, Not Theirs

  1. Excellent post! This is a subject that I have thought and spoken about. Researching recently I too came across that Teddy Roosevelt quote and it is so true. I believe social media has amplified these feelings. When mentoring I always advise against comparing … it can be unhealthy for sure!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Saania, I am unbelievably proud of you. I really am! You are an inspiration and a joy. I thank God for you and your heart to spread messages that we all need to hear. Every word you type is one worth reading. I hope you realize that and can truly appreciate the beauty of you!

    Your post is amazing. Jealousy is as evil as it comes. It makes us feel powerful emotions that get out of hand very very quickly. I love the acronym for FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. Jealousy is rooted in the fear of losing something we value. That’s why we often see it in relationships.

    Your wisdom to know that comparison is the thief of joy is spot on and a word worth hearing! It’s always been one of my favorite quotes. We must remember that each of us, just as you say, really are unique individuals who have something to offer only we can.

    And I LOVE that quote from Steven Furtick. I hadn’t heard that one from him before. How true. Thank you sweetie for sharing this. Keep up the amazing work. You’re a blessing! ♥

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Me ha gustado mucho esta reflexión, es verdad que perdemos mucho tiempo en compararnos con los demás. Y probablemente siempre pensamos que salimos perdiendo. El ser humano nunca se conforma con lo que tiene, con lo que es.
    Y es verdad, reconozco que hay personas que hacen mejor que yo las cosas o que son más felices, pero con los años ya relativizas esas cosas y piensas que cada uno tiene unas cualidades y te conformas. Cuando llegas a eso, es cierto que te sientes mejor.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Such a lovely piece, thank you for sharing this. It is so true, the quote about us living our behind the scenes lives, while we see others’ highlight reel! I’m always telling the kids that the social pages on the internet are what people want everyone else to believe is there perfect life, and not to do the deadly comparing.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Dear Sania!! You have written on most important and current topic.Really.why is the place of jealousy in human’s life.it spoiled all lives.here is not value of comparison.i think-every person has his own value in this world.commonly it is natural but we should avoid from this because it is main reason of jealousy and and try to demoralize ourselves.very well written,my dear!!🌷🌷🌷🌷

    Liked by 3 people

  6. SaaniaSparkle! This is so very well-articulated and concise, cutting to the heart of how jealousy and feelings of inadequacy or insecurity being so destructive to one’s inner beauty which makes each person a unique special being. When a new child of God is born that baby is a one of a kind work of art in progress to the Almighty and the final result of a completed work in God’s eyes is all that matters, not what others project as their worldly expectations, the contrived or man-made qualities and characteristics of what or who a person should be. We are all growing and evolving while on this earth and each of us would be best to focus our absolute attention upon our Creator and seek directive from Him, not those around us or even ourselves as to what will measure up to some preconceived concocted perception of what matters by temporal worldly standards that are imperfect, generally vain and never complete or the whole truth. And, this temporary life is loaded with falsehoods or deceptions; so very far from heaven and ultimate truth. I think for all of us that “faith” is the seed to nurture while knowing that God has a plan and you and I are part of that plan; so outside of that all else is folly because it leads nowhere but to a dead end!
    Carry on seeking truth and wisdom and you will follow God’s will for you to the letter! God Bless You.
    Brother in Christ Jesus,
    Lawrence
    PS I really enjoyed reading this and you got me thinking so much! A Blessing!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Excuse me from the previous message because I thought you were from RO and you know my language. Now I realized that I was wrong in reading this interesting article. That’s right, we have to see ourselves as equals and the fact that we can all be wrong at one moment. We have to respect ourselves and take care not to hurt feelings. I don’t know English and maybe I didn’t speak too normal, just that it helps me with the translation application as it can. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I just read the comment you wrote here and I don’t want to confuse matters but you made an important point that I want to respond to this one precise part of the comment, “we have to see ourselves as equals,” this statement got me thinking about how much we hear in media, or work and politics all kinds of talk about equality, and I think most of it is off the mark or not accurate. When you or I say we are equal according to God as being humans and each a child of His then yes we are equal, but in this mixed up world nothing is really equal when it comes to people, especially because that’s not possible, even if we want it to be true. The law says we are to be treated equally but even with that we can see here in America there is a two tier system of justice employed where the ruling class aficionados or politicians get away with highway robbery and even murder right under our noses but most average person’s who break a little law, they get the book thrown at them and even end up in jail. Everything differs here and even our opinions of others and ourselves can’t be perfectly aligned or identical; just not possible! So thank you for mentioning this so I could think about this vitally important truth!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Excuse me sir. 😊 I was in one and you brought me back to reality, you gave me two hands and you said, please forgive me masters, stop sleeping, wake up from your dream. I need you to come to earth, to see how many dissensions there are in God’s being, in His wonderful creation. The Lord told us that the master should not be greater than the slave, nor vice versa, and that there should be no party between us. . Nor does the animal kingdom happen. It is not the case that the lion returns from the hunt and kills the lioness and the chicks. Excuse me, I was sleeping so bibs and dreaming of nice people as nice as you are.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Hello rofstef sir! Some good things you say here and I appreciate the input! One thing that came to my mind immediately was when you said, “to see how many dissensions there are in God’s being, in His wonderful creation.” All of the known universe and indeed the amount of existence we can be aware of as mere human fallible beings with such short lifespans here, we are looking at and witnessing the awe, power and mystery of the Creator when we are conscious and looking at life from the most miniscule particles to the grandness of the universe; it is all here only because of our Creator who has it all within His power and control. But, this is all temporary as the Holy Scriptures clearly illustrate that God has already planned out how this world will unfold according to His great plan, then it will be wiped away and all of His faithful children will be with Him in His eternal kingdom! That is why we should spend as much time every day seeking His will for each of us in order to carry out what He knows is best, not our own doings, but His will as our heavenly Father always wants what is best for us, so all we need do is listen to His instruction and follow Jesus Christ! God Bless You and Yours. Amen. ! 🙏 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Well written and presented Saania! So true we need to appreciate who we are as a unique creation, as we each so different in so many ways. Learning to appreciate and work with our different-ness is what makes people achievers and happy with who they are. Thanks for your interesting post.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Thank you for visiting my blog! A great subject you are addressing here! Jealousy is certainly something to deal with in my art. Only I’m coming from the other, less common side. I am one who people have been jealous of. I was slow in detecting it, and then the next question was, what do I do with it? Have taken the approach, when i suspect someone is jealous of me, to be complimenting them and encouraging about their skills, and that they do not have to compare themselves with anybody else.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Bonjour mon ami amie

    En ce jour de printemps je viens te saluer
    C’est le plus beau jour ou tout renaît
    Les arbres vont fleurir , la nature vas prendre de la splendeur

    Dommage il faudra attendre pour en profiter

    Mais
    Aujourd’hui le plus gros handicap la peur
    Mais pensons que
    La plus belle chose et l’amour
    Je te souhaite une belle fin de journée ou de nuit ainsi
    Qu’un agréable weekend
    Bisou Amical Bernard
    Que le réconfort de ses amis amies et
    L’AMITIE
    Sur cet air de printemps

    Liked by 1 person

  11. There’s a Bible verse that confirms this. It basically advises: Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours (Gal. 6: 4-6). ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  12. I’m glad we are all different. My jealousies have been legit. Never have I wanted steal but I have managed to keep myself in a good state of mind so that I will not feel deprived. Have great weekend Saania. 💕☕️☕️

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I am often reminded that the quality of my life will depend entirely upon the focus of my attention. My life will never be about what other people think of it anymore that their lives will be about what I think. We are all so socially conditioned to compare, evaluate, and conclude that we don’t even notice it unless we practice that awareness.
    Love the post. .
    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I love this. I especially like the quote, because it is so true. We think the perfection displayed is all their is. In the same way we look at the best in others we need to in ourselves. And as you said, we never can get to perfection for life is about improving, about the journey.

    Take care of yourself….

    Love, light, and glitter

    Liked by 1 person

  15. We were born alone, and we are going to die alone. There is no use in comparing ourselves to others. Our life is unique and perfect in its own way. Things that you don’t understand now will make so much sense later in life. So there is no need to worry coz nobody is gonna share the deathbed with you!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Hola
    Gracias por seguir uno de los MasticadoresdeLetras. Son 10 blogs y una News que llega cada viernes a 300 personas, y escriben 93 personas nos gustaría participaras, o bien publicando textos antiguos o nuevos cada 15 dias. Contacto flemiglabwork@gmail.com Saludos Juan re crivello Fundador de Masticadores Puedes ver uno aquí masticadoresdeletras.wordpress.com
    También publicamos en catalán, portugués e inglés

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  17. This is really positive and great knowledge to share. Comparing does steal joy, seeing more and more of what you don’t have or can’t do. It’s a tremendous waste if our own time to build on our unique talents. It took me some time to realize this but I’m grateful to have learned while younger rather than too much later in life. Very thought provoking. Great post !

    Like

  18. “Comparison is the death of joy, let us try to keep in mind that nobody is perfect. All of us have great strengths and all of us are working along our weaknesses. And trust me, the freedom found in comparing less is entirely worth the effort!” I couldn’t agree more!

    Like

  19. Ugh, no one can stress enough about how competition and jealousy does NOT go hand in hand. Moving ahead of a friend or anyone else for that matter isn’t the accomplishment. Being the best in whatever we’re doing is what really matters and often times, we lose track of that and focus on beating everyone else in our way and take pride in that OR worse, we’re made to think we aren’t better than someone who’s ahead of us.
    We forget that our journey is ours and only ours. Thanks for putting that into perspective

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  20. It’s true we should not compare ourself with any other . Every person is unique . We should focus on betterment of ourself .

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